But in 1995 I relapsed for real with almost 10 years of sobriety. But I couldn’t wake up from that reality. It wasn’t just a dream. It’s quite shocking to dream that you’ve woken from a drunk dream but then discovered that it was not a dream at all.
|
|
|||
|
Combine a smart ass 12-stepper with a holier-than-now Zen-tillectual and you’ve got a reason for Prozac whether you’re the subject or the object. On one hand we’re superior because we’ve overcome addiction and on the other because we’ve found The Way. Add the ability to quote some Freud and you get an insufferable jerk who really knows how to get under people’s skins. 
I admittedly don’t know how to use theism, or the belief in an outside force, to feel better. As much as I’ve tried to use externals to change my feelings it’s never worked on any long term basis. Be it from drugs, women, grades, raises, applause, laughter – temporary relief always fades. And guess what doesn’t? That pervasive dark feeling of dis-ease, shining black through like a reverse sunrise-blinding any glimmer of satisfaction that the crack of quick cash or a fat stash or batting eye lash could give me. Gone. And there I am left to feel, one more time, like the wrong side of a colon. My position is that I encourage anyone who is suffering from addictions to try anything and everything they can to find relief. I’ve found mine in an integrated, comprehensive, multifaceted approach to recovery that includes, but is not limited to full participation in 12-Step groups, psychotherapy, medication, community service and involvement with Buddhist and other spiritual communities. Incidentally, there is a difference between spiritual and religious. Many methods are listed in each chapter of the 12-Step Buddhist book. You might not need all or any of them. But in my case, some are sicker than others. If you’re like me, and are tired of suffering, then it makes sense to try anything and everything you can. |
Portland Recovery Meditation Groups
Schedule a Session |
||
|
Copyright © 2012 the 12 Step Buddhist - All Rights Reserved |
|||
DandyID
12seconds
Amazon
Delicious
Facebook
Friendfeed
iTunes PodCast
Linkedin
MySpace
Picasa
Twitter
YouTube
Stumbleupon
Ning
Technorati
Flickr
Zazzle
Ustream.tv
Twitpic
Twine
Goodreads Author
Google Reader
Goodreads
Pandora
Want Cheese With That Whine: The Voices of Self-loathing and Self-love
I am the voice of self-love. I’ve heard everything self-loathing has to say. It’s OK. Nothing new there. My job is to support the self – no matter how he’s feeling. I’m here, and have always been here. In fact, I was Present before the seed met the egg. When his mother was stressed, didn’t want to be pregnant, smoked cigarettes and got sick, I was here. I’m the real nurturer. In me, the self can always feel safe.